Why success doesn't lead to happiness

There is something deeply ironic about the pursuit of success. You could go after something for so long, with all your might, setting your goals high, and blasting right through them. You can push until you actually achieve your goals, cross the finish line, hit the target, and feel...nothing.

Well not entirely nothing. You will definitely feel excitement, you will feel joy. For a minute, for an hour, for a day, for a week. And then the dust will settle and you will remain, as you are, with yourself. And in this place, in this space, without the drive of something to achieve, without the allure of something to chase, you can even start to slip into depression.

Achievement and success will not always mean happiness. Although our culture can often conflate the two, these seem to be separate albeit often intertwined problems that need to be solved.

Being a go-getter and achieving things is important. It is good to stretch ourselves, to be tested, to prove our mettle. It is important to be able to set ourselves to a task, to a challenge, and come out the other side victorious. It is how you get things done. It is how you get results.

We are designed to grow from adversity, from stress. If we live without achieving anything, if we don't reach our goals or even set them, we will atrophy into apathy. If we are not able to discover and tap into our interests, our reserves, our talents and inclinations. If we are not allowed to be productive, life becomes a boring and despairing thing.

Having something to do, something to aim at, gives purpose. And it can feel good to struggle and overcome.

However in this journey, it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the thing you seek will change things dramatically for you. It is easy to believe that once I get this thing then I will be happy and complete. Once I buy this thing, or get that accolade, I have finally made it. I get to live happily ever after.

But alas, we are human.

No sooner have we achieved our prize, we are already chomping at the bit for the next one. There's another mountain to climb, another peak to conquer. And that is often the solution for the malaise that would set in if we stood still. We just keep going and adding new goals, or new excuses to postpone our happiness.

On top of all this, new levels of success also come with new realities, responsibilities and challenges to be contended with.

Achievement, growth and success are important. But happiness is a problem that must be solved on its own. If you cannot be happy where you are now, in the midst of your situation, then it will be difficult to be sustainably happy when you get what you want.

And of course we must be nuanced here. If you are moving from a terrible life threatening situation to one of ease and comfort then you will definitely be more comfortable and happy. After all, the Maslow's hierarchy of needs must be respected. But after all is said and done, with a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food in your belly, success won't necessarily make you happier.

It will make you more competent. Maybe more respected and with more resources.

But if we do not turn to healthier proven ways of finding happiness and fulfilment - building relationships, committing to a higher cause, practicing gratitude and non-attachment, enjoying the simple things, and being present, then no amount of chasing or trophy collecting will fill the hole inside.

That hole is soul stuff, spirit stuff, the real stuff. No amount of material things could ever fill or satiate it. At most you could deaden it.

So in our pursuit of success, it is important to nurture the core. To find happiness and joy when its needed. Not through things, but through being, through fellowship, through the process, through worship, through gratitude.

Instead of looking for it in success, it is important to know that you are already worthy. You already hold value. Even as you chase what you want, even as you reach your successes. You were always worthy, you will still be worthy. Through your wins and your losses. These things are just things. To be experienced, to be held loosely.

You are worthy, and you are awesome, and success or no success, you can be happy.