Over the past few days, a couple epiphanies have been forming in my mind, surfacing and subsiding, all building up to this one – stop asking permission. I’ve been reading a book called “The Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida. It has brought back to sharp focus for me, the idea of being a man, being a true man. And unlike other books on the subject, it reaches out from a core truth as opposed to talking about things you should know or learn to do as a guy. The main idea here is connect with your deepest self and live from that without compromise.
We get conditioned to always ask for permission from a young age. We want cookies? Often we have to go ask mum for permission to have those cookies. And so on, it’s a good thing then because well, they do know better than us then and they seek to protect us. The conditioning continues into our childhood and beyond. We ask teachers for permission to speak, to go to the bathroom. We learn to look to others for approval and we tailor our behavior to earn it.
This need is childish and unnecessary. To grow up is to come into contact with one’s truest and highest desires and to pursue that regardless or in spite of people’s opinions and expectations of us. As long as we live from a place of unconditional love and light, we ought to give of our gifts and ourselves freely and without reserve.
In the context of creating something to be appreciated by others – being a musician, designer, artist, actor, etc., we fall into the trap of asking permission to create the things we really want to, the things truly dear to us. We wonder if people would like it, our labour of love. We wonder if they would even understand. There is no need to ask for permission, we must create as we please, from that true place within and put it out there anyway without seeking validation, without craving acceptance.
Stop asking for permission to be yourself, stop asking for permission to live your dream, stop asking for permission to change. Stop asking permission. Take the reins of your life in your hands and take full responsibility for it. Own your successes and own your failures. Stop asking for permission and take charge.
Hi Oto,
I totally agree with you. Coupled with not asking permission, we should not apologise for who we already are or who we are becoming.
We ought to live unapologetically true to ourselves first; the truths that people have created about us should not bother us because those aren’t our truths.
I am answerable only to my truth.
This is great Oto!Keep it up man!!!