I’ve been doing this thing called ‘morning pages’ from ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron. Every morning for the next 12 weeks I write three pages of pure stream of. I’m on day 3. The goal of these pages is to unearth and release the thoughts and emotions lurking in the subconscious. I do this a lot already through daily contemplation and meditation, but this is still a useful tool. As the debris of unresolved emotions and thoughts are cleared away, I gain clarity and closer contact with my creative muse.
I have a friend who I love unconditionally. I don’t know if I love any of my other friends or people the same way, but with her I know I do. Maybe it is because I know it is mutual, and we understand that regardless of what the other person does or goes through, we love and support each other all the same. We don’t talk all the time, but the idea is a comfort, to know that at least one person completely accepts you, as you really are, no judgments.
What does this idea look like when it is turned inwards? Yesterday, I was writing my stream of thought and halfway through I realized that there are some things I don’t face because they would require admitting to myself that I made a mistake, that I possibly messed up. But how I am going to get healing and move past it if I don’t face it. It would just remain an issue causing discomfort and pain. To help me face the issues boldly, I must extend a hand of unconditional love to myself. I must say to myself that regardless of my failings, my mistakes, my fuck-ups, that I love myself and I don’t have to work to deserve my own love. I love me; I don’t have to be perfect. Perfection is not the goal. The goal is to LIVE (as messy as life is), to LOVE (as dangerous and wild as love is), to CREATE (as scary and uncertain as creation is).
I’m way better at judging myself and rejecting parts of myself that I don’t like. But if I practice and learn to love myself unconditionally, I know that all my fear will melt away and my true power will be released. I can allow myself to be myself, my full true self. I won’t have to bend to please everybody if it means compromising that which is sacred to me. I will have nothing to prove, and no one to impress, only myself to be true to. I can speak my mind and approach all my relationships from a place of love and acceptance. And the more I love myself, the more I will love others.