Gather round, gather around children, sit at my feet, let’s discuss. I know it’s that time of year when ordinary folks begin to get ambitious. You have looked over 2011 and hopefully reflected and done a review. You are now looking towards 2012 with a heart full of hope and the fresh promise of a year that won’t be like the last one, or the one before that, or the one before the one before that. Yeeah…lets face it, 2012 is going to be the same as 2011.
Statically and experientially speaking, you have a track record of fucking shit up. You say you’re going to eat healthy and hit the gym hard in the New Year. Well…um…last year we said the exact same thing and what happened? Yeah that’s right…you went a total of what? 2 times. I guess that is an improvement from 2010 where you never bothered to sign up for membership. So you know what? I am rooting for ya…I think you can manage 5 times over the entire 12 months of 2012.
Come-on now, don’t look so sad. Chill out. Grab a beer. The world is ending in December remember…wait, let me check quickly…um…yep, everything is still set for destruction in December 2012. I recommend that you have a year long party, like just rip into it. Drink, eat and merry yourself silly until it all comes crashing down. Make the most of it.
No? You don’t want to do that? You still want to try.
Gimme that list.
Alright, lets see…you want to wake up early, go jogging, pay more attention in class, get a promotion, double your income…quit your job, start a new business, get married, be a better person…damn this is a long list.
Okay, maybe I can help you out after all.
You see the thing is, if you want to have a chance of achieving even one thing on this list…I’m going to have to kill you. Or better still you can just kill yourself. There is a reason why you are not doing these things right now. It’s very simple. The reason is this – you are not that person. For changes like this to occur, first off, you need to become someone else, a better version of you.
The first thing we are going to start with is desire. How bad do you want this new thing? If it’s a nice to have, I really can’t help you. You are going to fail. It needs to be a must have. Your desire needs to burn white hot. What’s your motivation? What moves you?
Think about the person who lives your list of dreams effortlessly. What is he thinking? What is he feeling? How does his inner being work? What’s her motivation? Until you can think as they think and feel as they feel, you have little hope of sticking to your resolutions. Spend time delving into the psyche of the person living the life you seek and absorb the traits. If you really grasp this, you are halfway there.
Third come to full terms of the reality of this new life you want to create? You want to wake up early? You have to sleep early…no more late night TV or video games or whatever your distraction is. You want to improve business. You going to have to study your business, take it apart, put it back together, optimize, trim the fat, try new things, closely monitor, adjust, you know how it goes. You want a better school term? You are going to need to work hard, ask questions, jack up your study techniques, and apply yourself. You want to spend more time with the family? Well, guess what, you have to work less and delegate more. Are you sure you can live with the reality of this new life? There are tradeoffs, changes to be made. Do you really want to risk your present comfort? You need to fully accept the entire reality of this new life before you can have it.
Draw up a sketch of what this new life looks like, trace and anticipate all the ripples that would flow right through your life. Embed new rituals into your schedules, anticipate sticking points, get a buddy to help keep you on track, join a support group, get a mentor, get all the resources you need.
Fourth thing you should know is this – start small. Don’t let the euphoria of your enthusiasm fool you. Unless you are running on the copious amount of emotional energy that comes from trauma like heartbreak, divorce, death or near death…take it easy. Start small, observe yourself, take note of the feedback of your experience, make adjustments if you need to and keep going. Keep upping the ante; take on bigger challenges, do more.
Finally, don’t give up. Or give up… I don’t care. Do whatever you like. If your resolutions don’t resonate with you, no need sticking with them. Find something that does and do that instead.
Happy now? I really think you should go with the whole party till the end of the world thing, but if you really must, what I just told you should help.
In summary, one, really really want this. Two, know psyche of the person you need to become to live what you want. Three, accept the new reality. Four, start small, make adjustments and then pick up. Finally, keep on truckin’…whichever road you choose.